Tuesday, March 29, 2011

NETI POT: AN ADVERTISEMENT

"Ah! Ah that's too much! Oh god. Okay. Okay. This is okay. I'm going to be okay. Oh my god that feels fantastic."

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"Neti Pot. Just the tip."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Sunday, February 27, 2011

LIVEBLOGGING THE 2011 OSCARS

This whole night has just been one long mom-dick suck-fest.

BusinessBusiness: when you just can't say it anywhere else.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

PANEL ABSTRACT: MY LAST RESORT

an abstract
by Jessica Madison

Papa Roach's "My Last Resort" is played from a boombox placed on a lectern while panel leaders wildly flail, upending the folding chairs and main table, by which I mean I flip them all over while screaming.
It won't look like this except that it mostly will:

Sunday, January 30, 2011

dish, Paul, dish.

"well i heard they were going on a date, and i heard that she was invited on a date to the White House
easter
egg
roll
y'all."

same horse, new saddle

Do you remember being a child?

How every new moment was a mystery to be solved?

Where does the light come from?

O, it comes from electricity.

"spahkling in the gahssamahr.

*****

2)
THen you became an adult,
and nothing was a mystery anymore.

***
3)
SO YOU WATCHED NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS (SHADOWS) LIVE ON NBC SPONSORER BY TURBOTAX.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Anne Geddes is a first world problem.

"Because they're so soft and supple, they fit into lovely round shapes."
"I try to keep conscious of the fact that I'm walking into a room full of newborn babies."
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(Just so you know, this is attached to Celine Dion's body.)