Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
can'ta p0osssilbydasl fjhidblog fasgt neough
sneaky snake goes dancing.
I don't like old sneaky snake...it tickles his underneath.
I don't like old sneaky snake...it tickles his underneath.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wait
I just realized that Daria and Kenneth Koch are the same person.
Thanks go to amazon.com for facilitating my discovery.
I also do hope that tonight we can make some GIFs fully actualizing this theory.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
okI don't know.
Why don't we attack Celin Dion more often?
Selene DIONEey
celen deawn
siline dioughn
cilen deean
xiline zion
Carthur Rimbaud.
Carthure Rambot.
Rambot DAMBOT
jSambod Limbod.
Sambalto Baronte.
CEAMBEOT LIENIOBON.
DIAMBO CELAN.
Selene DIONEey
celen deawn
siline dioughn
cilen deean
xiline zion
Carthur Rimbaud.
Carthure Rambot.
Rambot DAMBOT
jSambod Limbod.
Sambalto Baronte.
CEAMBEOT LIENIOBON.
DIAMBO CELAN.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
THE BEAR HUNT
by Abraham Lincoln
A wild-bear chace, didst never see?
Then hast thou lived in vain.
Thy richest bump of glorious glee,
Lies desert in thy brain.
When first my father settled here,
’Twas then the frontier line:
The panther’s scream, filled night with fear
And bears preyed on the swine.
But woe for Bruin’s short lived fun,
When rose the squealing cry;
Now man and horse, with dog and gun,
For vengeance, at him fly.
A sound of danger strikes his ear;
He gives the breeze a snuff;
Away he bounds, with little fear,
And seeks the tangled rough.
On press his foes, and reach the ground,
Where’s left his half munched meal;
The dogs, in circles, scent around,
And find his fresh made trail.
With instant cry, away they dash,
And men as fast pursue;
O’er logs they leap, through water splash,
And shout the brisk halloo.
Now to elude the eager pack,
Bear shuns the open ground;
Through matted vines, he shapes his track
And runs it, round and round.
The tall fleet cur, with deep-mouthed voice,
Now speeds him, as the wind;
While half-grown pup, and short-legged fice,
Are yelping far behind.
And fresh recruits are dropping in
To join the merry corps:
With yelp and yell,—a mingled din—
The woods are in a roar.
And round, and round the chace now goes,
The world’s alive with fun;
Nick Carter’s horse, his rider throws,
And more, Hill drops his gun.
Now sorely pressed, bear glances back,
And lolls his tired tongue;
When as, to force him from his track,
An ambush on him sprung.
Across the glade he sweeps for flight,
And fully is in view.
The dogs, new-fired, by the sight,
Their cry, and speed, renew.
The foremost ones, now reach his rear,
He turns, they dash away;
And circling now, the wrathful bear,
They have him full at bay.
At top of speed, the horse-men come,
All screaming in a row,
“Whoop! Take him Tiger. Seize him Drum.”
Bang,—bang—the rifles go.
And furious now, the dogs he tears,
And crushes in his ire,
Wheels right and left, and upward rears,
With eyes of burning fire.
But leaden death is at his heart,
Vain all the strength he plies.
And, spouting blood from every part,
He reels, and sinks, and dies.
And now a dinsome clamor rose,
’Bout who should have his skin;
Who first draws blood, each hunter knows,
This prize must always win.
But who did this, and how to trace
What’s true from what’s a lie,
Like lawyers, in a murder case
They stoutly argufy.
Aforesaid fice, of blustering mood,
Behind, and quite forgot,
Just now emerging from the wood,
Arrives upon the spot.
With grinning teeth, and up-turned hair—
Brim full of spunk and wrath,
He growls, and seizes on dead bear,
And shakes for life and death.
And swells as if his skin would tear,
And growls and shakes again;
And swears, as plain as dog can swear,
That he has won the skin.
Conceited whelp! we laugh at thee—
Nor mind, that now a few
Of pompous, two-legged dogs there be,
Conceited quite as you.
A wild-bear chace, didst never see?
Then hast thou lived in vain.
Thy richest bump of glorious glee,
Lies desert in thy brain.
When first my father settled here,
’Twas then the frontier line:
The panther’s scream, filled night with fear
And bears preyed on the swine.
But woe for Bruin’s short lived fun,
When rose the squealing cry;
Now man and horse, with dog and gun,
For vengeance, at him fly.
A sound of danger strikes his ear;
He gives the breeze a snuff;
Away he bounds, with little fear,
And seeks the tangled rough.
On press his foes, and reach the ground,
Where’s left his half munched meal;
The dogs, in circles, scent around,
And find his fresh made trail.
With instant cry, away they dash,
And men as fast pursue;
O’er logs they leap, through water splash,
And shout the brisk halloo.
Now to elude the eager pack,
Bear shuns the open ground;
Through matted vines, he shapes his track
And runs it, round and round.
The tall fleet cur, with deep-mouthed voice,
Now speeds him, as the wind;
While half-grown pup, and short-legged fice,
Are yelping far behind.
And fresh recruits are dropping in
To join the merry corps:
With yelp and yell,—a mingled din—
The woods are in a roar.
And round, and round the chace now goes,
The world’s alive with fun;
Nick Carter’s horse, his rider throws,
And more, Hill drops his gun.
Now sorely pressed, bear glances back,
And lolls his tired tongue;
When as, to force him from his track,
An ambush on him sprung.
Across the glade he sweeps for flight,
And fully is in view.
The dogs, new-fired, by the sight,
Their cry, and speed, renew.
The foremost ones, now reach his rear,
He turns, they dash away;
And circling now, the wrathful bear,
They have him full at bay.
At top of speed, the horse-men come,
All screaming in a row,
“Whoop! Take him Tiger. Seize him Drum.”
Bang,—bang—the rifles go.
And furious now, the dogs he tears,
And crushes in his ire,
Wheels right and left, and upward rears,
With eyes of burning fire.
But leaden death is at his heart,
Vain all the strength he plies.
And, spouting blood from every part,
He reels, and sinks, and dies.
And now a dinsome clamor rose,
’Bout who should have his skin;
Who first draws blood, each hunter knows,
This prize must always win.
But who did this, and how to trace
What’s true from what’s a lie,
Like lawyers, in a murder case
They stoutly argufy.
Aforesaid fice, of blustering mood,
Behind, and quite forgot,
Just now emerging from the wood,
Arrives upon the spot.
With grinning teeth, and up-turned hair—
Brim full of spunk and wrath,
He growls, and seizes on dead bear,
And shakes for life and death.
And swells as if his skin would tear,
And growls and shakes again;
And swears, as plain as dog can swear,
That he has won the skin.
Conceited whelp! we laugh at thee—
Nor mind, that now a few
Of pompous, two-legged dogs there be,
Conceited quite as you.
DEAR EVERYONE
BURN THE WITCH (and by that I mean post absurd things about the guy who sends me emails)!!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
DEAR CRAIG LIVERMORE
(of the New Jersey Law and Education Empowerment Project)
When someone applies for a job at your company, do you know what is the worst thing you can do?
ANSWER: Never reply to them and then put their emails on your companies promotional email list.
Do I want to spend $100 to go to an awards Gala at the Newark Club?
ANSWER: Go to hell, Sir.
Thank God I have a blog to properly express my rage to the general reading public.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
POLL
Billy CollinsThey're getting a snow-cone machine.a pedophileStoned Dad.Create a MySpace Poll
THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE.
you didn't even write a script, did you?
"THERE'S SOMEONE ALMOST GONNA FALL OFF THE BRIDGE"
THIS IS ACTUALLY A POETRY BLOG
AND WE ARE ACTUALLY PUBLISHING OUR FIRST ISSUE.
featuring the wonderful work of Mr. Martin Beeler. When he is not writing poetry, Martin is a fancy lawyer. This is him sometimes:
Martin Beeler is resident in our New York office. His practice focuses on bankruptcy, restructuring, and debtor-creditor rights, and includes both transactional and bankruptcy litigation matters. His clients have included debtors, creditors, secured and unsecured lenders, debtor-in-possession lenders, creditors’ committees, equity holders, chapter 11 trustees, and indenture trustees on defaulted securities. Mr. Beeler also practices in the areas of mergers & acquisitions and secured finance.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
DEAR WAYNE
If you would like to participate in a new Big & Tall Man's Blog, please inquire presently.
We will be discussing masculine theory. And masculinism. And what it means to be in a post-masculine society, on:
WEINER TOWNE!!!!
We will be discussing masculine theory. And masculinism. And what it means to be in a post-masculine society, on:
WEINER TOWNE!!!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I heard that...
if you go to a party and say "bloody murray" three times, bill murray will show up drunk and bleeding.
Think safe.
The Movie is about a series of mysterious lightning storms wreaking havoc worldwide as they spiral through the atmosphere toward Greenland. Once they collide, they will create one massive storm that will result in cataclysmic destruction. The Rescue Heroes use their new Mission Select equipment to contain the disasters all over the world caused by these strange storms. But Billy Blazes is poisoned on a mission and getting weaker by the moment, and Rocky Canyon is grounded for insubordination, therefore making the team short-handed. The Rescue Heroes face their biggest challenge yet, since they must find a cure to save Billy and solve the mystery of the storms in order to save the world in time.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY: MY FIRST RABBIT
IN MY DEFENSE, JESSICA MADISON DID NOT INVENT GIBBLE GOOSE GIRLS OR QUBO.
BEANS OR FAKE BEANS?
bad idea or bad idea?
1)pure-ass cranburry saooz.\
2)how to make an electromagnetic pulse (please don't.)
1)pure-ass cranburry saooz.\
2)how to make an electromagnetic pulse (please don't.)
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