BusinessBusiness: April 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

LIVEBLOGGING HAPPY TOWNE

"HAPPY TOWN" is Twin Peaks mixed with hot wet lettuce and tossed into toilet water.

ITS NOT ACTUALLY THAT HAPPY (it's kind of scary).

oh god it is kind of scary.

OH GOD HE'S KILLING HIM WITH A HAMMER.

TOP TWELVE THINGS USING A GAZELLE

1. Jar Jar Binks. "I'm up here guys."
2. A person made only of legs.
3. A gazelle.
4. The Jurassic Park Logo
5. Lego People with a head stack.
6. Daedalus
7. Imelda Marcos
8. Forrest Whitaker's eyelid.
9. Avril Lavigne on fire, covered in ants (Someone doesn't like this.)
10. Beer-hat-robot.
11. Hooch (of Turner and Hooch) with Turner on VHS.
12. Zordon
13. The ashes of Turner & Hooch on two separate feet

2010 BEST CRY

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dream Whisper

Real Gross, Emily. Real Gross.

'LOVE THOSE FAN'S"

“Do they

want to hang around you because of it? That’s

what a dream maker is.”

Dananananananananananananananananna MILLER!

Personally, I kind of like Dan Miller, and think he is neat.

Whatcha been thinkin?

S’more Thinkin’…

I guess Love is like an overcoat. An overcoat protects everything that is under it. It protects from the effects of the cold, rain, snow, wind and maybe even dirt.

Does love protect from the affects of the world? Love covers a multitude of sins.

I guess I could even be naked under the overcoat of love and no one would know.

BOB MILLER GONE FISHIN'

mr. "inspiration"

focus on the family=Fair Ass Game.

ONE ARM PILOT

Friday, April 23, 2010

DEAR CHRISTINE:

Thank you for sharing. As I said it is never enough for mother to know about her daughter.

What are the terms of endearment?

Are you happy with him?

Is he equally serious about you?

Love,

Mom

TURKEY ON A BUS

Thursday, April 22, 2010

HAPPY EARTH DAY

a reading from "pregnant pause" by helen faulkner

Meanwhile, on Hope Island, the planeteers, who were completely oblivious to the evil group's mad plan, were throwing a beach party in celebration of the water Planeteers' twenty-first birthday.

"Happy Birthday, Gi!" Wheeler grinned as he shyly handed her the seashell comb he had made for her and offered as his modest gift.

"Oh, Wheeler, it's beautiful!" the young Thai girl exclaimed, showing the delicate item to her female friend, her cheeks round with the smile that spread across her face. "Where did you get it?" she looked up at the handsome redhead who stood across from her and blushed slightly with embarrassment because he feared his gift wasn't good enough for her.

"Um, I kinda made it from recycled bits I found," he sheepishly replied, hoping she wouldn't see it as a cheap gift. He had been on distraction duty all week and hadn't had time to buy something that he felt would be a more proper present.

The birthday girl happily bounced over and gave the fire Planeteer a great big hug. "I love it, Wheeler, thank you," she whispered before delicately planting a kiss on his cheek and returning to her seat to open her other gifts.

The remaining surprises brought Gi a smile so wide that she felt her cheeks go round and start to ache from the grin that refused to leave her face. Linka had bought her a dolphin pendant that hung on a silver chain; Ma-ti had gotten her a solitude cd called angels of the sea, knowing she liked the soft and relaxing music; and Kwame had given her a traditional African rug from his village, after having noticed her admiration of one during her last visit.

Bursting with joy, Gi beamed happily at all her dear friends, whom she had come to see as her brothers and sister. "This is the best birthday ever!" she announced, barely containing her excitement as she threw her arms around each eco-warrior in gratitude.

As Wheeler, ever the extravert, raised his glass of ice cold lemonade, he toasted, "To Gi!"

"To Gi!" Linka, Kwame, and Ma-ti joined in, raising their glasses of champagne in honor of the Asian, none of them realizing that the next year would be their hardest yet.

Two weeks later, the pregnancy scheme was falling neatly into place as Blights formula had accepted the American Planeteer's DNA sample, with Mal confirming that the egg was now fertilized and ready to be implanted into the body of the unsuspecting victim.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Nothing really matters

Why didn't I see this this till now?

THIS VERSUS THIS

THIS

VERSUS

THIS

If only everyday was Fatty Crab Day

Instead it's stupid Tuesday.

Monday, April 19, 2010

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

THERE'S SAND IN MY HOT TUB.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

DEAR CARTER.

is the world beautiful now!?!?

Gif creator

Friday, April 16, 2010

I'm going to lose 87 pounds.

We now have a home gym.

Meet Oxana.

Hey, remember Monica Lewinsky?

Well, the website hilaryunveiled.org does. And did this awesome collage:

Will the neo-Roman Bush/Clinton Dynasty Rape America and the World the way The Julio/Claudian Dynasty Raped Ancient Rome and the World!!! ?

We'll be here

Take a day off work and visit us!

ANNUAL CHAPBOOK FESTIVAL

Monday May 3 and Tuesday May 4, 2010

The Annual Chapbook Festival celebrates the rich history of the chapbook as a work of art as well as the essential place of the contemporary chapbook as a vehicle for alternative poetry projects and for emerging authors and editors. Now in its second year, the festival features a two-day bookfair with chapbook publishers from around the country, workshops on creating, producing and distributing chapbooks, marathon poetry readings, and a closing-night PSA Chapbook Fellowship reading. For more information, please visit www.chapbookfestival.org.