frost on His eyelashes.

don't put that thing on me.


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A Response

how is it the year 2010, and I cant post a picture in a comment box?

FINALLY

cleanse the palate.

WORST TIME.

RYAN ADAMS SEX DREAM






ROUNDUP!!!

No Words

Hey, Mr. DJ.

LOOK AT THAT CHRISTINE CALLING THE KETTLE ASHTON KUTCHER

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TIM SIEBELS THREE THOUSAND VOTES

ZERO PERCENT BEST ANSWER.

(FROSTBERG CENTER FOR CREATIVE WRITING)
"SUCK IT DOWN NICE AND SLOPPY"


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ANNOUNCING:
TIME SEIBELS, IF YOU'RE READING THIS I WOULD JUST LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE TO SUBMIT ALL OF ANY OF YOUR POEMS TO OUR MAGAZINE HERE BUSINESS BUSINES WE WILL TAKE ALL OF THEM.

YOUR MAMA BEEN LIVIN IN A CRACKER JACK BOX???

GRANDMA, HUH?

SOME OL BAG TOO LAZY TO PICK UP A PIE????

TOO FEEBLE TO FLIP A FLAPJACK???????



I DO! I DO LIKE IT!
-JESSICA MADISON AND PAUL ALSO AGREES

Skinz A'Pealing

Theirs are three Peals in the Trifecta.

Twitter?

What are we Ashton Kutcher? Maybe I am everyone's grandmother, but tweeting is for the birds.

Wayne thinks you are whores.

Sexual Pinocchio iii

Annie pointed to her eyes. She had really pretty emerald-green eyes, which sat in a round, freckled face, framed by long, slightly curly, red hair.

See the black line? That's made with the eyeliner.

Twin Vortez

Chapters 1-12 of R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet Synced and Played Simultaneously (2006) by Michael Bell-Smith. Courtesy EAI. from Why + Wherefore on Vimeo.

Hot Wet Dad

WHUTRDUB

FRIENDS FOREVER

Friends, play these friends' youtube videos at the same time.

someone's dad is embarrassing them.

I REPEAT

stayyylosoooooftduhkanddreaamess

each one of these braids stands for a scorpion that i milked

GOLD

one can spend the time remembering how good it was to know them

I feel good about remembering this exists

662

wrtb

Lest We Forget

Sexual Pinnochio.

a casual picasion

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A Traddy(no period means balto hybrid)'s BP

The Wolf Crow

I do not own Balto or The Crow. Now on with the Show!

People once believed that when someone dies a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then, sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.

(The setting is Nome, Alaska. A goose and a red husky are running/flying to a grey wolf. They stop to catch a breath.)

Aleu(the grey wolf): Kodi! Boris! What brings you here?

Boris(the goose): Aleu, I'm afraid we have some bad news.

Aleu: What?

Kodi: Aleu our mother and father are... dead.

Aleu: What? How did they die?

Boris: Apparently they were beaten to death by someone either human or animal. (puts a wing on Alue) I'm sorry Aleu.

(Aleu hangs her head down. Now we are in a town where a funeral is taking place. Humans and animals are there to mourn. A body of a grey wolf is set in a grave and buried with a tombstone above the grave that says "Here lies Balto Hero Wolf of Nome." 70 years later the whole town is full of big buildings. The gravestone of Balto still stands. It's night and it's snowing and a male crow is watching the grave. He glides over to the tombstone and lands on it. Then he starts tapping it with his beak.)

Kodak the crow: Time to wake up Balto.

A. Traddy (Billy Collins's Dog-Centaur Pseudonym) kills God and takes over Heaven.

A. Traddy's Traddy B. P.

you guys are EMBARRASSING ME.

BRINGING THE CONVERSATION BACK TO ME.

Baby, I love you.

baby i love you, cher, jake gyllenhall, gyllenhaal, gylenhal, jillenhall, jake gillenhall, guyllandhall, guylandhaul, giuewlehnhaul, glueing hall, morph, animorph

Hi. I'm a dinosaur. And my name's B. J.. (censored version)

Click it for the uncensored version.

SNEAKY SNAKE ROUNDUP

iT TICKLES HIS UNDERNEATH.

Sliding along the bottom

With my feelers. Out to catch anything.


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A Traddy BP

what do you have to say for yourself?

100 1956: my best year 30-day trial 498 50 percent of the audience 500 is a significant number :( a little something going in the typewriter a match made in towne a new poll a plant responds a traditionalist business post a traditionalist recommends the grilled chicken salad a whole new world a word thats included aaah abe adaptation ah-ha Aids air brush master aladdin all blogs are dead all the ladies alright alvin and the AMERICA and i don't want the world to see me and I mean it and we are also elaine animal beauty anne geddes Anne Geddes can afford to pay you enough money that you would have sex with her and not regret it entirely because of the amount of money she could easily afford to pay you anniversary antichrist apartment apparently we don't know how to make something nice apr aquarium bong art as usual august awesome awesome god babies babies having babies Baby in the wind back back from bacon bad day bad joke bad money bad taste in your mouth bagels and breakfast balls balto balto celin dion remix bandle in the cind barf beans beans or fake beans because i'm a box bed of roses beelzebub berenstain bears berries best answer better get that facebook gold y'all big bird big paw biggest billy collins billy collins sex tape biracial politics bitches bj blast from the past blink blog backwards is golb blog duel blog duels blog feud blog funeral blog-scroll bloggers blond hair black eyebrows coco jambo blow blue bob dratch bolsas borderline borderline furry behavior bored boss bourgeoisie brainstorming bunny get the kit business business but i really do have friends BUT I STILL RECOMMENDS but not you eric butt dress BYE canadian candid candle in the eind candle in the hind candle in the mind-dind candle in the wind Candy Paradise cannibalism captain planet fan fiction carson city cartoon sex maybe castles in the sand casual occasions cat ladies cat slander cats CAUGHT ON TAPE celin dion certain death CFO chemicals between us cher chicken child development children children on the internet chipmunks chocolate chocolate chocolate choke chris hemingway CHRISTINE INVENTED EVERYTHING christine style post christmas jambo Clarence Mitodely dreams class classism clowns coco jambo cold dead eyes colin hay Comments conspiracy theories consulting tips control Coolmyspacecomments.com coors light coral corn me up cotton eye joe cougar town cougar town makes me sad cougartowne Craig Livermore craigslist crap crazy crist cry crystal skulls cults bob dratch cuttlefish damn kids bothering me while I'm painting my nails dan miller dan miller speaks dan's small golf dancing dandle in the eind dandle in the lind dandle in the mind dark orgonite das ist schade david letterman dead dogs don't die dead pigs dead pigs is already a tag dear christine dear christine the musical dear dad dear krabby dear mom definitely fake beans dem tuesdays destiny did you hear about that weird thing I said? diggely diggely doo dino disney do it does my finger look like an eye jessica dog backwards is god dog backwards is god. my first gif dog centaur dog skank dog weddings dogs dogs dead dogs dogs in space doing doing them Dolphin don't don't ask don't have to kill anyone for that tuck-job don't lie eric we know it's you don't want go DONE douchechill dr. candles dream maker drink some shakes drunk drunk birds dutch is a silly language earl bird gets the worm earth day eastern europe EASTERR eastwick eat it in the mouth edible dogs education electric ellen page engagement enosymbiosis ersatz eternal return europe is probably hell facebook FACEBOOK GOLD facebook private gold failure fair ass game fake fake beans falling down family fan video fashion week fdr feminist ballbusting cartoon cats fight on FINALLY first world problems flash in the pan flimsy tents fmimdmsd focus on the family forever fortune FOTOGRAFI france france-tastic freaks FREE DOWNOADS french frenching frog froggie from all of us to all of you fruit FUCK POETRY fuck the pain away fuck yeah FUCKING SLOTH fucking swedes fun fun fun fun funghi the dingle dolphin garfield as boobs gerboa german get it girl get ready to gain 20 lbs Get to work Nicholas ghosts giant dino fish gif backwards is fig gifs are the new santa claus eating the vortex inside of himself girls global christian network go-karts godbless GOING TO HELL golf good movies google is an asshole GOOJSH got gotta let your soul shine goulet grandpa granny greasing the badanga gross grown up baby guess guest-blog-post gypsies ha butt haikus happy harry potter hats have you heard about weird things headless woman heaven hell dog hellacopters help herrhn hey I just made a joke high class hobnobbing holiday holiday edition honestness horrible and miserable horrible merchandise HORRIBLE OBJECTS HORRIBLE PEOPLE horror horses hot hot dads hot mouth how i feel how odd hulk hogan as an m and m i love you i actually identify as A2H i already put this on facebook I AM NOT THE SAME JESSICA I can't tell. i consider myself a minimalist blogger i didn't write this my mom did i don't like it out in the wind i don't trust that kid i guess it could be that in certain situations i hate new blogs i hate poetry i lobster but never flounder i love you i no longer consider myself a minimalist blogger i recommends i see that's already a tag i still haven't found what i'm looking for I think the boy's ready i think we're alright I want to feel your body i want you inside me i'd take out oind i'll be there i'm not gay but I'm not sorry if you're upset future-people-of-the-internet i'm not sorry joyce because this is awesome i'm really sorry I'm so happy right now i've been thinking i. love. you. if you don't have something nice to make make a woman centaur with human legs if you figure this out then Bravo to you sir if you stay in new york for 30 years this is what will happen to you in case you weren't aware in the mix inappropriate... infinity informing inspiration internet internet feuds introducing: cougar towne iris island of the blue dolphins it tickles his underneath it's a DUDE it's us jamba Jandle in the Mind janet bland japan jasmine jazzflutes-a-biscuits jerk Jessica got a gazelle. jessica's gif jesus jobs john irving john updike jolly good journal just don't look at it jessica just hootie just lay down and die just people just some thoughts just suck it down nice and sloppy just that tiger just turkey just updating my blog kalamazoo kangaroos kashi kate ken and dars kirk cameron knockin boots knowing me knowing you lamb in a wool sweater last night latisse laying down the landing pad le bleu learning things left behind legion lesbina paradise vip let the skin sliiiiide down your face let's fuck let's have sex with things libertarians limonada means pee lips live blog llamas loads of dust lolanda long chicken tails look at you lookin pretty good actually loosing looters love lowest common denominator magic mailings mama tina man maria bartiromo MARINE BIOLOGY mark gormley marriage martin mastermind maximum comfort maze MCCAIN TELETUBBY VIDEO md memory meow merry christmas mew york city mine moby dick modern country mom mondays montauk montauk monster Moracle more wolves mormons most beautiful eyes mr uncle mr uncle's hat factory muck sticky murphy brown music my cookies are disabled? my first ytmnd my fourth (?)gif my friend billy collins my second gif mysteries names that sound like questions nancy trapper nazi-killing never new blog next month nice and sloppy nice clean hole nice dress nice shoes nicholas sumida is a haarp agent no no blowfish no bus NO COMMENT no more chicken posts no one no scrubs no turkey no vampires nobel prize nobody that's who noodles nope norway not a death threat not billy collins not doing this not funny not having it not just people not making it not necessarily an eye NOT SHADY not that movei not too shabby not true nothing going on here numbers O HAI Oandle in the Jind oco october Odie Hill offending oh i didn't see you there rachael oh my god code oh that's dark oh those desert people oh yeah it's on ohio oksana old old dogs old news old timey one arm ONE PART SPRINGA ONE PART XINGER one thing lead to another one two three PEOPLE online forums organic food our new ad agency our new ad agency's already a tag overkill oxana painting my nails Pandle in the Lind pants on the ground PARA LOS DIOS parenting parents on the internet past paul is fat paul likes pervy roo pigs pineapples pinus densiflora pissing in the honeypot plants for president PLEASE LISTEN plugs poems poetic criticism poetry? Politics poor approximation potato gold poultry precarious situations prepositions are the worst shit prescription sunglasses prices of fame prison propaganda proposal protest public service purple house put me up put me down put my feet back on the ground put-put putters qubo queenie the dog question racing rainbow joe rape rapture RAY raymour and flanigan read this real stuff rebecca cunningham rechavistay RELAXY CATSIES rescue heroes research return revelation rice and limonada RIDING ON THE CRAZY BUS rip robbin williams rodents rogerrogerrogerrogerroger roller coaster rome RUCKADUCK rules S.H. sad dino sad panda same thing san francisco Sandle in the Hind saying the truth saying what I think about this scalar kitchen scalar media Scalar Vortez. Merry Christmas scooters scrolls sea seahorses sense sensitivity sexual pinnochio sexual pinochio sexual undertones in cereal commercials sexy sexy pigs shame shark shay shoot your wad shot the wad shouting into the void showers shut up sincerity sister sister skin colored rug slander sliding tiger SLOPPY SECONDS small potatoes smart money sneaky snake snicker-doodle poughkepsee madison snow business SOLID POTATO SALAD. SOLID POTATO SALAD. SOLID POTATO SALAD. someone's watching over your shoulder sometimes youtube is a creepy old man sorry bear space dog SPARKAL QUEENZ sports spy Spy-partment square ass clouds squba pornography SQUIDGE st. patrick's day state quarters status update stile stupid stupidest post yet stuyvesant town style success suck it down nice and sloppy suck my dick lorraine sunlakes az support susan sontag likes anne geddes take that universe TB techno viking med teddy ruxpin teen awesome terrible pigs thanks loruh that is so that was innapproiate that's like my statues that's my first rabbit that's nice that's not a candle that's tupac's body That's what I want. the academy of american poets the apocalypse the believer the blind justice the boss the bush administration the cheapest cruise the final piece the future the grammies the h-hole the ken burns effect The Lizard People the national book critics circle award for lifetime achievement the poetry machine the present the queen the scalar closet The steady hands of time the thing the van den hams the wrong jessica madison the youth of the nation theme posts there's a better bill murray out there they don't have last names they should've sent a poet things things made of the letters that spell them thinking THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE MILK INCORPORATED this doesn't make any this is from craigslist it is not me this is from the internet this is my last resort this is not my joke but I'm re-telling it for you to enjoy it with me and appease my guilt for not having asked mike and juli whether or not i could post about their joke this is the fucking lamest thing ever This was made by a child. this was way too long to put the whole thing in this will save hip hop thjese fingedsfr can't blogasd ofastnough through thwack too soon took her on the hillside as god almighty knows tori tornadoes Touch me traddy's tragic kingdom trailers Trans-species truck true story truer words were never spoken truth turkey twilight twisted up inside twisting two eggs squeezed up against each other two mandles one bindfind TWO PARTS RUM uandle in the mind uh well down there uncle bruno unicorn UNKLE FRANK unseasonable uriel mooncat is the vessel to arcturianism us too USA uss enterprise uzgh vacation vagina angry vampires vidal sassoon videos violence virgina woolf the crabbe family virginia woolf Vortez walrus walt disney wapadapadap warning we are going we are jerry seinfeld we built this city we didn't even make this WE HAVE TO GET TO 1000 we're getting a blogroll we're in trouble we're sorry joyce but it's just something we had to do weekend prayer weird dude energy welcome to sageville welcome to the cuttin' pen werewolves what What are we becoming? what do you regret sir? what if its beautiful oh wait its not what is sad what's the deal with what's your surname? where'd i put my hot bean salad? where's madonna? whichever you prefer whisperer white buffarainbow joe who knew who let me have a mac who produced this garbage who's that baby who's that lady whoosh why am i so obsessed with this why are we bloggins so furiously why can't exclamation points be in the tags why is that already a tag? why isn't 'exploiting michael jackson' a tag yet? why isn't 'why is that already a tag' a tag? why isn't anything good a tag already why isn't balto a tag? why isn't business business a tag? why isn't herrhn a tag why isn't janet bland a tag why isn't lamb in a wool sweater a tag why isn't rebecca cunningham a tag why isn't sneaky snake a tag WHY ISN'T WHY A TAG why so horrible winning wolf animation wolves working hard or hardly working worried cat wyp yah yes Yoanna House yodeling YOOOOOOOOOOOU you can call me bibideebooooo YOU DECIDE you don't deserve to wear that uniform you really haven't lived until you try it You're just going to have to watch the hwhole thing you+me your boss youtube yup z ZERO PERCENT BEST ANSWER

A Traditional Business Post

We'll have a whale of a time.

Business attire, please.

FRIENDS WITH TORI

i'm watching y'all...hey crystal, just hoping i'm gonna get to see you later. better get that facebook gold.
love,
lori/tori
"I'M JUST SAYIN'"

OH MY GOD PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK CLICK ON IT ITS WONDERFUL.

CRYSTAL MARY LINDSEY: COME INTO MY HEART LORD JESUS

i don't trust that kid.

Tony had some new friends over after school yesterday.

Two of them came home with him after track practice. One of them, let's call him "Eddie", I picked up from his home.

The reason I'm calling him Eddie is because he reminded me of...

(I didn't think of him like that immediately.)

...coming and picking me up." me and he thanked me profusely.

It was when we got in the car again.
"It's really nice Mrs. Z, !" he says.

Tony says "why do you keep kissing up my mom?"

I'm a little shocked Tony has said this "Tony! He's just being polite! Maybe you should learn to be a little more polite"

And this is when he becomes "Eddie" to me...

say no more, sweet britches.

A POEM BY KALAMAZOO TORI

"I can do it myself"
those independent words making my heart swell with pride.
My two year old daughter's favorite saying when attempting some new feat.
Her face beaming with pride when she succeeded.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words bringing me frustration.
In a rush to get out the door, trying to be patient as she ties her own shoes.
I take a deep breath and release irritated sigh.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words forcing me to let go.
She is picking out her own clothes to wear to school.
I choose to say nothing about the plaid shirt with the striped pants.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words filling my head with worry.
Watching her pull out of the driveway on the snow covered roads.
All I can do is pray.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words piercing my heart.
Listening to her news of the plans she has mapped out for her future.
Knowing she no longer needs me.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words making my heart swell with pride.
She is an independent woman. Making her own choices in life.
Realizing that is what I intended for her.

Brown Grandma, White Grandma.

biracial politics, y'all.

VIP

I'm a very important person in Lesbian Paradise.

why yes. yes i did.

The Other Plot

I need to hone my stitchwork.

ALSO. PLEASURE ISLAND:

THE PLOT, YOU SAY?

THIS IS THE PLOT.

MARGARITA MADNESS

"line art"


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DEAR PAUL.

JK!

-ROWLING

ROFL (rowling on the floor laughing)

BAGELS AND BAGELZ

RAOOOWWWNNNMMMMM